Your family and friends should be a source of help and support, and the best way to make that happen is provide them with information. Share your educational materials with them and encourage them to attend a support group with you.

Explain what helpful support means to you. For some, it might be shopping for the right foods in the early weeks after surgery, for others it’s being an exercise buddy for a daily walk. It’s important to point out that you are in control of your own weight.

Many loved ones feel they need to be the “food police” and constantly ask about your food choices. Their intentions are good, but misplaced. You don’t need to hear questions like, “Should you be eating that?” or, “Is that on the diet plan?”

It’s also important for loved ones to understand the metabolic aspect of the surgery. It can be scary to see you go from eating a few thousand calories a day to a few hundred at first. They need to understand that this is a process and that a period of adjustment for everyone is normal. If you keep the lines of communication open, you will have the kind of support you anticipate.

Your family and friends will need time to get used to the physical and psychological changes they see in you after weight-loss surgery. You may find that some people are not as supportive as you had hoped. Their initial reactions may be hurtful to your recovery and adjustment, but you need to talk honestly with them. Teach them about the surgery. It is important that they understand the basics of the operation that you went through and the changes that you must make for the rest of your life.

• Tell your friends and family about the fundamental shift in your relationship with food. 
  
  
• Let them know your goals, needs and concerns, and ask for their help. 
  
  
• Bring them to your support group. 
  
  
• If your friends do not seem to be responsive to your needs, limit the amount of time you spend with them. 
  
  
• Make new friends who did not know you before the operation. 
  

It is surprising that even the most well-meaning family members or friends may try to push food on you. Be particularly wary of celebrations, cookouts and eating in restaurants. Plan ahead and eat before you go. Try to talk more and eat less. You are now in charge of your life. Enjoy!

Include important family and friends in your surgical journey from the beginning. Bariatric surgery is a life-changing experience, but change can be threatening to those around you. The best way to prevent problems is to include people you love in the learning process.

There is often a reluctance to tell others for fear of disapproval or dissuasion from surgery. I don't agree with keeping this process a secret. If you do a little research, you should have enough information to begin a discussion. If you keep your desire for surgery a secret, your spouse may feel threatened or abandoned by your desire to “become someone different.” On the other hand, by working together, the process can be one of growth, engagement and increased social and sexual activity with your significant other.

Family and friends are usually supportive, but they may also be anxious. Educational seminars or information on the Web may help them fully understand your decision. Children at almost any age should also be included appropriately. They should know that you will be undergoing a change in appearance and understand that this is a chance for you to live a longer, healthier life.

Preparing your friends and family for your weight-loss surgery is an important element of success. Before the surgery, educate them about the procedure and the changes that will take place as a result of the surgery.

Friends and family must understand that your eating habits will be dramatically altered. The radical reduction in your food consumption may be alarming at first, so you should assure your loved ones that you are eating enough and that you will not get ill from lack of food. They should also understand the importance of avoiding junk food, sugary beverages and calorie-dense foods such as fried meals. Therefore, ask family and friends to avoid bringing these foods into your home. Most important, ask to them refrain from eating these foods in your presence.

Lastly, friends and family need to be coached about the benefits of being supportive rather than disapproving. They should encourage you to eat properly and exercise, and be there when you need support to deal with weight-loss plateaus, complications from the surgery and changes in body image.