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People cannot help others if they do not take care of themselves. It is important to deal with the intense feelings that commonly arise when a loved one is dealing with heart disease. Otherwise, these intense feelings could suddenly overwhelm you when you are behind the wheel or on the job or taking care of a child.
Common feelings that may arise include the following:
- Fear. You may find yourself fearing what will happen next. Your greatest fear might be that your loved one is actually going to die. It may also be very frightening to see your loved one in a hospital or to see that your loved one is scared, too.
- Sadness. You may find yourself grieving a loss related to your loved one’s heart disease. You may miss the time when you did not have to think or worry about your loved one as a heart patient. You may wish that things could be as they once were.
- Anger. You may find yourself resenting the amount of time or attention that your loved one needs from you. You may also feel angry that your loved one made unhealthy lifestyle choices that could have affected his or her health, such as smoking, neglecting to lose weight, eating an unhealthy diet, avoiding exercise and so forth.
- Guilt. You may feel like you could have done something to prevent your loved one’s disease, or that you should somehow be able to do more for him or her (e.g., calling or visiting more).
Two keys to dealing with these feelings are learning as much as you can about your loved one’s diagnosis, and keeping communication open with your loved one and other people. As much as possible, keep listening to, and talking with, your loved one and other friends/family members about the intense feelings often associated with heart disease. Support groups and counselors are also available. | 
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