Children may not have an adult’s vocabulary, but they are remarkably good at picking up on feelings. If you haven’t gotten a hold on your own fears, children are very likely to pick up on them. By learning what to expect, you can conquer your own fear of the unknown, and help educate the young heart patient (and any young family members) about what to expect. Pediatric programs are also available at many hospitals to help educate children about what to expect from medical tests and procedures.

Because children tend to be remarkably resilient, one of the best things you can do for them is handle your own feelings well enough so that your own fears and sadness do not interfere in a child’s unique coping process. For example, be prepared for the tough questions that children are often brave enough to ask. Experts generally frown upon lying to your children, but you can answer a direct question with a true statement or a loving joke instead of a direct answer. For example, if your child is scheduled for surgery and asks, “Are you worried that I might die?” You could answer, “I’m worried that you are not going to have enough room for all the balloons that people have been sending you!” or “I’m worried that if your nana sends you any more presents, then all the other children in this hospital are going to get jealous!”

When dealing with your own feelings as the parent of a young heart patient, remember that you are not alone. According to the American Heart Association’s Heart and Stroke Statistics - 2005 Update, about 36,000 babies are born with heart defects every year. Thousands of other children develop heart problems from diseases such as rheumatic fever or Kawasaki disease.

Because of the large number of parents dealing with this situation, support groups are available around the United States. Like everyone else, parents need to remember that they must take care of themselves in order to take care of anyone else. That means getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals and so forth. For more information on parental support groups, contact your local hospital or local chapter of the American Heart Association.