Studies have found that elderly patients without support were three times as likely to experience heart-related complications (e.g., a heart attack) after being hospitalized for heart failure. This underscores the importance of support for elderly loved ones, but offering that support can present some difficult challenges. 

First, even when elderly patients are dear family members, their personality might change if they are feeling ill or in pain. This is particularly true if they have been diagnosed with a mild form of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Sometimes the best thing you can do to support an elderly patient who is acting differently than normal is to work with the staff at whatever facility they are in. Keep aware of the treatment that the elderly patient is receiving, and listen to the staff about how the elderly patient acts when you are not around. As the staff will likely tell you, elderly patients tend to enjoy your visits more than you may think.

Second, it can be challenging to support an elderly patient who does not want to follow the physician’s recommendation for treatment. Some experts believe this is a sign of depression, which is believed to be largely undertreated in the elderly population. Other experts believe that emotionally healthy elderly people should have the right to decide for themselves how far they are willing to go to fight for their lives. These are difficult issues for any family, but as a general rule, please contact a health professional if you believe that an elderly patient might be experiencing depression or confusion that could interfere with healthcare choices.

Third, it can be extremely challenging to talk with your loved one about certain legal preparations, such as writing a will or completing advance directives. On one hand, it is vital to know your loved one’s wishes. On the other hand, deep emotions associated with this topic often lead people to avoid it. One strategy for making the conversation a little easier is to first learn everything you can about Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders, living wills, healthcare proxies and organ/tissue donation. You may also wish to speak with a lawyer for additional guidance and services.