I've been married for almost eight years. My husband is obsessive/compulsive to some degree when it comes to keeping his hands clean. He can't stand anything sticky on his hands, even hand lotion. He does not enjoy touching me with his hands and won't even begin to perform oral sex. As I am approaching my 30s, I find myself daydreaming of what mutually satisfying sex must be like. I don't like sex toys, and friends have suggested using latex gloves, but that has no appeal. My husband is heterosexual, has read magazines and seen videos, so it isn't like he doesn't have a clue of what to do or isn't attracted to women, he just doesn't want to touch a woman between her legs. He hasn't brought me to orgasm for six years (roughly), and I'm getting discouraged. Please help.

The best solution would be if your husband sought therapy to deal with his obsession. But assuming that he won't do that, I see only three other choices. One is to keep going as is, with you not having a satisfying sex life. Another would be divorce. And the third would be for you to compromise. Is it fair that you should compromise instead of him? No, but if he won't, and if you want to save your marriage and have more satisfying sex, then it's really the only way out, so why fight it? The compromise I'm suggesting is to accept the use of a sex toy, i.e., a vibrator. By using a vibrator, your husband can give you an orgasm without having to touch you with his hands. I know it's not a perfect solution, but why don't you try it out and see if it can't help at least temporarily.