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Wife is Compulsive Shopper

By:
Peggy Elam

Question :

My wife cannot stop herself from shopping. She accumulates everything in large amounts. We have a huge house, and she has taken 90 percent of the space for her stuff. She had some issues with her mother and was denied certain material things as a child, so now she has accumulated an abundance in an effort to satisfy that need. What can you tell me about compulsive shopping? Does the situation I have described fit the profile of an obsessive-compulsive disorder?

P.L.

Answer :

I can't make specific comments on your wife's behavior without evaluating her personally. However, there are several possible causes for excessive or compulsive shopping.

I don't usually think of compulsive shoppers as having full-fledged obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD -- the condition Jack Nicholson's character had in the movie "As Good As It Gets") or even necessarily obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, which is characterized more by a preoccupation with orderliness, control and perfectionism. One important possibility to rule out is mania or hypomania (a possible symptom of bipolar disorder or related conditions), especially if the spending is excessive to the point of causing legal problems. Hypomania is a state considered similar to mania except that delusions or hallucinations -- which can be experienced during manic episodes -- are not present. But again, I wouldn't necessarily assume a compulsive shopper was manic or hypomanic. There can be other explanations.

Some people engage in compulsive activity of any kind, including shopping, as an attempt at reducing unbearable tension or anxiety. And, as you mentioned, people may purchase or hoard items in a conscious OR unconscious attempt to ward off a return of deprivation they experienced in the past.

If your wife would like to stop or change her behavior, I'd encourage her to see a therapist who can help her understand and address whatever's fueling it. If she DOESN'T want to change her behavior and it's affecting your marriage, the two of you might benefit from consulting a marriage counselor. Good luck.

 

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